Let’s face it. It can be tough sometimes to be happy with who you are. There are a ton of competing forces telling you to be this or that, to look this way, to act another.
Ya can’t eat that because God forbid it show up in your midsection. Your body is changing due to having a whole human growing inside of you, and you’re struggling to accept the temporary changes because of some Instagram model.
You continue to make choices you prefer not to make in order to “keep the peace”.
And, don’t get me started on the idea of makeup.
So, in the fight to be happy in your own skin in spite of all the external influences, here’s how I’ve started to love me, and how you can do it, too!
Recognize negative self-talk.
On average, people think about 50,000 to 70,000 thoughts per day. How many of those thoughts are automatic reactions to experiences? How many are worldview considerations? How many are you speaking poorly about yourself?
Identifying these thoughts is the first step.
What it took for me is to slow down and think about what I’m thinking about. And meditation is a great way to practice the slowdown; to consider the energy in your spirit.
Practice saying nice things about and to yourself. Find one thing you like about your face on any particular day, and compliment yourself like you would a stranger or a friend. Say it out loud. Repeat it.
Once that’s more natural, try correcting negative thoughts you’ve identified. If you know you’ve been telling yourself in so many words that you’re worthless, repeat out loud to yourself “I am worthy.”
Do this every day for a minimum of two weeks, and you’ll be amazed how your attitude about life will change.
Weed out external negativity.
Once you start working on you, it’s likely your surroundings will start to mimic the positive changes. This is a natural progression of your growth in love for you.
But if it isn’t, I got something for you.
Start to listen with your spirit. I’m of the understanding that God has given us the ability to reason. He’s given us the capability of discerning, with His help.
So, listen to your small inner voice. This small inner voice is what some like to call intuition. What I’ve learned is that it is a muscle that can be strengthened and fine-tuned to help you consistently make decisions in life that will make YOU happy.
Strengthening the intuition muscle is also a matter of slowing down, and becoming more in tune with you. Knowing yourself is key here.
Yes, meditation is a great way. But I really am a fan of incorporating a mindfulness practice. Really what that entails is allowing your whole self to be completely available in the present.
When your thoughts are on what you’re gonna eat later, what the kids are doing outside, your next business move, it is nearly impossible to discern what’s happening in the moment.
Identifying negative influences and energy-sapping folks in your life requires your availability.
Be more present.
So, what I’ve recently started in order to be more present is to set an intention for just about every social interaction I have. What do I want my purpose to be? What does God want for me in this space? And when I get there, it’s easier for me to stay present because I’m looking for the opportunity to live out the intention, and to express the purpose God has given me.
How does this make you more happy with who you are?
You’re able to make deeper connections with people when you are present with them.
You can hear the unsaid, feel the unspoken. And we are all made to connect with others. Connection with others, and feeling like they appreciate your full presence, will make you more appreciative of exactly who YOU are.
Set and crush goals.
Gosh. There’s so much to be said about a sense of accomplishment toward your God-given purpose in life. (If you’re not sure what that is just yet, just hop on over here to download your FREE copy of my guide “Create Crystal-Clear Purpose”.)
Yah, I’m talking about seeing the vision clearly, planning it out, and achieving those smaller goals which clearly set you on the path toward accomplishing that larger vision. It’s an incredible rush, lemme tell ya.
So, start with the guide, and work your way backward from there. Once you start accomplishing those smaller goals, go on to the bigger ones. But starting somewhere, achieving the first thing, will absolutely jump start your journey toward loving you, boo.
Understand your journey.
I’m the WORST at this, okay? But do not, I repeat, do NOT be too hard on yourself. Life is much too short, as I have been reminded all too much recently, to be so serious all the time. Celebrate the big AND small wins. Love on your tribe, man. Lean when you need to lean, and don’t be ashamed about needing someone else.
Have grace for yourself just as you would your best friend. Talk to you like you talk to her! Why beat up on you when at the end of the day, you’re all you really got?
No one’s journey is going to look like yours. No one has exactly what you have inside you. God placed that in you for a reason, and you can’t go through life believing untruths about who you are. You are beautiful, smart, accomplished, and lovable. Walk in that truth, sis. I’m right beside you.
P.S. This will not be an overnight change. Don’t be discouraged by that, but choose to select the mindset you’ll have about it in light of that information. It’s a journey, meant to be exciting and a little hectic at times. Enjoy the process!
If you need a little help, be sure to sign up for a FREE 30-minute chat with me about how we can get you to where you wanna be. Sign up here!
P.P.S. Here are some additional tools for showin yourself some love!
- Affirmation cards
- Meditation apps