Wanna know how to never achieve your goals in life? Let the fear of failure creep its way in and take over.
Guest Contributor, Aiysha, is sharing her story about how she is overcoming her fear of failure to live her dream life.
If you have goals and desires that you feel confident in, but struggle to make moves toward, then you understand how hopeless this unidentified, yet extremely overtaking fear can leave you feeling.
Maybe its fear stemming from the belief that whatever you are trying to do is too big.
Or, fear of this goal being impossible for you to accomplish––either due to your possession (or lack thereof) of talents, skills, or funds.
Regardless of the reasoning, I’m here to assure you that these fears are most likely not your own, but those belonging to the family, friends, or peers who doubt you and all you are capable of.
Here’s the deal
Being the creative that I am, the instant I told my family my plan for the future was to get my degree in creative writing, you can bet the last dollar in your bank account they laughed and told me “I’d figure it out sooner or later.”
My goal was to have flexibility when it came to establishing careers in film, television, and freelancing (the way I am currently doing with my blog).
I’ve been in college for just under three years now.
And while I am aware of the great many pitfalls I will possibly face trying to make something of my life as a creative, my passions have stood unmoved.
But my drive and courage remained hindered due to an indoctrinated fear of failure.
It was this fear of failure that I recently freed both my mind and spirit from, and this is exactly how you can too.
How to overcome fear of failure phobia
Think about whether or not you’re as satisfied with your choices as those around you.
Speaking from personal experience, I’d like to share how I spent the first two years of my college career.
I went down my list of “parent-approved” majors in attempts to figure out which set of classes I could tolerate the most.
And the truth is, while I’ve never failed a course, my barely passing grades reflected how dissatisfied I was despite my parents’ applause.
This is not okay by any means.
If you find yourself putting the wants of those around you before your own, you are setting yourself up for disappointment to begin with.
Speak up for yourself or be prepared to make a drastic on-a-whim decision out of desperation.
Out of fear of speaking up for my desires, I had to do things the hard way and “decide” that I was ready to drop out of school.
This was the first and most drastic life decision that I’d ever made up until that point.
And knowing I’d have no sort of financial support to help me get through, I was still willing to let it all go.
This ultimately scared my parents into a compromise allowing me to switch schools. They did this because at the time, it was thought that I’d just needed a change of scenery to put me back on track.
Before it takes you putting yourself in a potentially impoverishing situation, talk to those individuals influencing your choices.
See if there’s even a chance of garnering their support.
Allow yourself to fantasize.
Because I got into my new university of choice, I knew I was able to change my mind about the direction in which I wanted in my life.
And, after having a long sit down with myself in which I was able to envision how I wanted to spend the rest of my days, I decided I wanted to wake up every morning happy to do what I do.
I want to dread my days off and have the option to forgo a few of them if I wanted.
Find your passions and interact with them a little. You may just come up with a way to at least ensure they play a part in your success.
Make a decision in your best interest.
I had to come to the understanding that regardless of how great or counter-intuitive my life choices are, life will work itself out the way it should.
I have seen first-hand how successful even those who’ve been at the lowest point possible in life, turn out to be because of just going for what they wanted.
The truth of the matter is, if you put in the work, you will reap the benefits of that hard work.
So please remember, that this law can and will apply to just about every aspect of your life, not just your career.
Start putting in the work.
Being that my ultimate goal is to find success in writing, I decided that now is the time to lay the groundwork while I am able.
Currently, my parents provide enough financial support for me to not have to work. So I am utilizing this time to establish myself because I know not everyone is this fortunate.
So, I put together a list of “to-dos”. It was comprised of starting a blog, writing a short film, and even working my way up to finishing a feature-length screenplay.
And due to allowing myself to focus, I can proudly say I have accomplished every one of the things I’ve mentioned––plus some.
And I know that whatever your goals may be, you can too achieve at least a few of them in the near future as long as you have the will to start working toward them!
Your biggest (and possibly your only) system of support may fail at encouraging you to make it what you want. But you must press forward with an understanding.
Understand that at some point whether it be sooner or later, you are going to have to blame someone for the way things panned out.
And either way it goes, it will most certainly be yourself. Personally, I would prefer to bask in pride instead of regret and I think you would too!
Aiysha Everett is a college student at the University Of Central Florida. She is currently studying creative writing with the hopes of becoming a successful screenwriter and entertainment manager. She started her blog Age Of Aiysha after realizing there were a lot of “young adult type” of situations in which she found herself needing guidance through, but couldn’t find. After successfully getting through a few of these issues she knew she wasn’t the first. And she knew she surely wouldn’t be the last to experience them. So, she started writing about these issues for others to read and learn from. Her ultimate goal in the end is to inspire and uplift those within her reach. You can find her on IG @aiyshaeverett.
Always be happy,