Autumn Goodman

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Valentine’s Day is right around the corner. So, you don’t have someone to spend it with. So, you might have someone, but ya still feel like treating yourself! Either way, you’ve come to the right place.


But first, let’s be honest here. If we let our minds get carried away with all the hype of Valentine’s Day, we can get pretty twisted up. Most couples have some of the biggest arguments on this particular holiday. Why is that? Put simply, it’s expectations. They’ll get you messed up every single time.


“Expectation is the root of all heartache.” – William Shakespeare


In my last post, I briefly touched on the idea of clinging. Yah, Brit, what is that. Glad you asked! The concept of clinging involves attaching emotions to particular outcomes, to people and/or things. We place ourselves in a position of control, when in fact, we have none. This can lead us into a not-so-fun space filled with disappointment, bitterness, anger, resentment – the list of negative emotions goes on.



Point is, let’s not go there this year. Let’s make the decision right here and now to love hard on ourselves this Valentine’s Day – without all the expectations bringing us down.


4 Ways to Self Love This Valentine’s Day


Affirm Yourself


I’m getting into affirmations, much more than ever before. They can be pretty darn helpful to unlearn particular untruths we’ve unconsciously been speaking into our lives and to learn much healthier truths. I’ve been creating my own weekly affirmations to correlate with what’s happening in my life for that week.


And so what I like to do is say them out loud, killing two birds with one stone. Not only do I see it visually, I hear it, too. If you can add a third physical element, you’re on the fast-track to learning the new to replace that funky old stuff. I’m really feeling this deck, in particular, and will be placing my order soon!


Essential Oils, Baby!


I could probably write a whole post on the benefits of essential oils, but that’s not the purpose here. If you want to get down with the oils, two that I would recommend for your self-love V-Day are lavender and cedarwood.


Personally, I like to add some water to the oil, and put it in my diffuser so that my whole space is zen-ed out. But do you, boo! You can honestly just open up the bottle, deeply inhale, and start to feel the naturally calming effects. You can put it in your lotion, your hair – whatever floats your boat.


Other essential oils for a relaxing night in:

  • Cinnamon Leaf
  • Lime
  • Grapefruit
  • Rose
  • Sandalwood


Hit The Matinee


Now if you’re not feeling staying in and all that jazz, I got something for you, too. Go see a movie you’ve been wanting to see, except during the day! The best part of it is that you avoid the Valentine’s Day crowd of couples. I don’t know about you, but being single on this particular holiday and seeing couples all in love just makes you wanna crawl into a hole and never come out. Just me? Okay, I’ll take that.


So, yah! This is actually one of my favorite things to do when I want to get away for a bit. It takes my mind off of my own feelings and situation, I get to really experience the movie for myself, and I get to have movie theater butter popcorn. Winning! My favorite app to see what’s out, where it’s playing and when is Fandango.


Now, an alternative to the solo matinee is to get a couple of your girlfriends together the night before Valentine’s Day to grab drinks and go see the latest rom-com, or whatever. (I like a good action movie, myself.) Self-love doesn’t mean you gotta go it alone. Be with people who feed your heart and soul if that’s what you know you need.


Personal Retreat


Ahh, yes. What a great time to take a personal retreat day! No hotel required, my dears. Set up your personal retreat right at home. A big way I self-love and care is through my writing. I’ve had journals for as long as I can remember. So, if you’re anything like me, go grab your headphones, your journal, and get to writing!


I have some great self-love journal prompts listed below just for you. The prompts tend to work best when you dedicate about five minutes of solid writing time on each one.


A few great self-love journal prompts:

  • When you take a look at your life right now, what do you love about it?
  • Paint a picture with words, defining what love looks like in your life.
  • If romantic love never came into your life (again), in what ways are you committed to loving yourself?
  • You teach others how to treat you. Looking at your current and past relationships, what lessons did you teach your partner? In what specific ways can you change this for the future?
  • If you have a struggling body image, try to pinpoint when that came to be. Break through those negative thoughts by writing down ways you can better appreciate your own unique beauty.


Some other things you could do on your personal retreat self-love Valentine’s Day:
  • Cook yourself a breakfast feast – breakfast is my absolute favorite meal of the day. I love when I can make a beautiful spread, and top it off with coffee in my favorite mug.
  • Paint your nails – it’s like art, and art is like therapy.
  • Give yourself a facial – I know I’m not the only one due for one of these. The one that really tightens up the situation and cleans out my pores is the Aztec Clay. You’re welcome.
  • Organize that room in your house you’ve been neglecting – you’ll feel SO good after it’s done.
  • Netflix and Hulu binge with all of the snacks – a good place to start? New Girl.
  • Do some yoga – I used to flow with Adriene all the time.
  • Meditate – sometimes, I like to meditate on Bible verses, but the affirmation cards are great for this, too!
  • Read a great book – this one and this one are my top recommendations for a day like this one.


Instead of putting that energy into trying to control situations and people, it would be much healthier to channel it into controlling our own expectations. Use these tips and resources to self-love this Valentine’s Day. It’ll probably turn out to be one of the best Valentine’s Days you’ve ever had.


“To love oneself is the beginning of a life-long romance” – Oscar Wilde


Cheers to Romance,

the happiness agreement

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Whether you have someone or not this Valentine's Day, these self-love tips are for you, hon! | | #selflove #valentinesday #selfdevelopment #personaldevelopment #lifestyle #essentialoils #journalprompts Photo by Alexandra Gorn on Unsplash


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